Something is wrong with me, I'm sure of it. I was getting close to Josh, really close. But the thing I thought we had was one sided, which was fine, but I wish he didn't wait for me to figure it out and just tell me. It stung at first, but I'm fine now. Which is where I come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me. If I can give myself to someone so easily and then be fine with it.. well that's not okay. Now I'm a free agent. I want to be the perfect girl-friend that I know I can be, sort of just missing the boy-friend. There's one guy, James, who we've been friends for a minute and he's interested in me, but I know he'd get bored the second we start dating, because that's just the fact of the day, so i refuse to let myself become boring to him. I refuse to be just another number. He's made progress, he dated a girl for three months, but then, got bored and dumped her. I don't want to go into a relationship knowing it won't last. Which is why I'm a free agent. I like other boys, I'm totally interested in other boys. I want to get to know them all, just them. Not their friends, not their families. I find once I get to know a boy and his appendages, after all is said and done, I miss them and I hate that. Half of the time the boys' family loves me more than they loved him [exaggerating].
In other news, I got my brand new camera! It's like Christmas but better!
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